Defining Jealousy

Jealousy.

An evil word.

You justify tearing people down when you use it, live it, breathe it.

Weight.

Car.

House.

Kids.

Age.

Grades.

Job.

School.

Pose

(Or, insert any number of items here)

Jealousy will steal your joy. 

I do not find myself jealous very often, if ever lately. I choose to drink in other people’s joy. Their smiles.

Their triumphs.

Their new cars, their dreams, new jobs, yoga pose, new clothes, their awesome accomplishments, kids, house, lawn, etc.

I do not know when I decided to quit giving jealousy power.

I remember a time, where I wanted highlights, new clothes, a new car, a fancy Trapper Keeper, a sister.

Where instead I poured peroxide on my head, got trash bags of clothes donated from my mom’s friends, and drove a 1983 Mercury boat, used my Trapper Keeper over and over (should have not picked out the one with the unicorn) and had two brothers.

I was jealous, but I was a child and childhood is where one grows the most.

I endured.

I changed.

I learned there is more to life than looking across the yard at your neighbor and being jealous. At looking at someone's body and wishing I looked like her.  For you see, they have struggles. Struggles you cannot see. Everyone struggles.

Everyone.

I love to see my friends and family doing well.

New job, great!

You can float into a handstand. Amazing!

You got a new car. Beautiful!

You retired. Rejoice!

Took the vacation you always wanted. Lovely.

You graduated. Well done!

I need to breathe these moments in, to feel inspired, to focus on the good instead of the bad. 

The definition of “struggle” is to progress with difficulty.

I did not see your rejections from the jobs you did not get.

I did not witness the multiple times you fell out of the yoga pose for a year.

I did not see you save for three years to buy a new car or to go on a vacation.

I did not stand in your shoes for 40 years while you worked.

I did not see the hours of homework and student loans you have.

Everyone struggles.

Everyone.

My struggle is not with me being jealous. I learned long ago that is not worth it. It will steal your joy, your smile, and your life.

My struggle is when others are jealous of me and try to tear me down.

Why?

If you want my joys, you would also have to endure my struggles and believe me, they have been numerous and painful. You would crumble beneath the weight of my internal and external battles.

I have failed, more than once. I have cried and prayed. 

 Yet, I always manage to emerge stronger and smarter.

I set high expectations of myself.

I am my harshest critic. 

Yet here I am.

Why should we ignore others happiness? Because your accomplishments are different then mine? Well, they should be! There is only one me and only one you. The world would be different without either of us. We both matter. No one is better, just different. We have different dreams, goals, inspirations, and aspirations. We are diverse. We make different choices everyday. Different is not bad. Different is unique.

I do not believe myself to be better than anyone else. I am just a girl, trying to live a life where there is always joy, smiles, hugs, and cheers. I have made choices both good and bad and I do not expect you to understand them. However, I do not believe we should ignore people’s accomplishments. Embrance them. Do not add struggles which are not yours to own.There are enough struggles in our lives, in our world, without borrowing more. 

Choose Joy! Laugh! Love! Smile!