Learning to Stand on My Hands

I am currently doing a 365-day handstand challenge.

Why?

I graduated May 11^th and it felt really good but also scary at the same time. TCU felt safe, secure, and familiar. Now, I no longer see my wonderful, beautiful friends daily. My focus and my routines have changed. I needed to find a job. Exhausting, nerve racking, and challenging. I did not get the job I wanted and that I had envisioned in my future for three years. Sometimes, when you shout out your dreams and ambitions, the universe listens. I have repeatedly told the universe I want to go to graduate school. It is on my list of things to do and important to me. The universe listened and I got a better job where graduate school is encouraged and reimbursed. A different transition.

A better transition, but one that has taken me awhile to embrace.

Inspiration.

I was inspired to start the challenge by my mentors. I was not to be deterred that they can pike or float with ease into a perfect handstand. I used trees, fences, walls, people, and other props to assist me when needed. The first time I tried to do a handstand without a wall, I fell completely over onto my back. I did not quit though I was quite embarrassed my oldest son Andrew witnessed my attempt. I returned to my studio and I asked for help from my yoga teacher and friend on how to cartwheel out when I fell. I had no idea how to do a cartwheel, something I never learned as a child. 

I probably do the most t attempts of anyone else doing the challenge. I take videos and snap the shot where I finally get up. They are never perfect and around day 18, I almost quit. I was having some unplanned surgury and had the excuse. And then the magic happened.

I had a breakthrough. I need to turn on my shoulders. I need to press down into the Earth. I need to press as hard as I do with my legs when I walk or stand.

This challenge is about growth. Growth in my body and mind. Creative growth. Perseverance.

A year and a half ago, I could not do a handstand. I could barely do a forearm stand. I watched from my mat at these people whom I thought were aliens from a different planet launch up all around while I did “down dog” on the wall to “strengthen my shoulders.” Yet, I continued to try. “If you never try, you never know if you can do it,” I have heard more than once at Karmony. I finally got up into my handstand and one-day, splatted down the wall. Embarrassed, I regressed back down to forearm stand for probably four months. “Here, let me help you,” my instructors would ask. “No thanks, I fell one time, “ I would rely back. I would come home and practice in the safety of my house. Finally, I asked for help from my left-handed friend, Katy Jane who showed me how to power off. I got up and now have a left footed assist, which I am told is a little unusual for a right-handed person.

What is yoga? My definition of yoga is working to live those poses in my life. To breathe through the transitions, of finding a new job, having a new schedule, meeting new people, and working my edge of uncomfortable in my life. The poses are getting easier on my mat and life is getting easier too. I am learning to see the perfection in my life, that choosing to be happy is a choice, it is okay to cry and be sad sometimes, and everyone has stress. I can wrangle with it in my mat and they will mop up my sweat when I leave. If I numb the pain, I numb the joy. Yoga is about learning how to live! Oh, and building flexibility feels amazing.

A few of my friends have messaged me that I inspired 

them. It was one of my intentions I set for myself for 2013. I wanted to inspire people. I never thought I would. Just a sentence I added in a blog, and the universe listened. I have inspired people to return to school, to change jobs, to come to a yoga class, to workout, to run a marathon. A friend of mine told me, “You can’t control how you inspire people.” It may not be to go to Karmony, or do a handstand, but it feels magical to know I have inspired a few and fulfilled an intention.

What have I learned so far on Day 25?

Ask for help when you need it.

Build on what you know.

Fear is okay.

Falling is okay.

Celebrate daily.

Watch the video and learn from mistakes.

Get up and try again.

I am stronger than I think.

Being upside down is good for your skin.

My shoulders look amazing!

Why stand on my hands? It is uncomfortable and thrilling at the same time.  I am learning to embrace it!

Namaste!