Why do I cry so much?
This question has plagued me almost my whole life and until
recently I did not know the answer. I am currently an Early Childhood Education
Senior at TCU and we spend an enormous amount of time reflecting on lessons,
classes, projects, and more. You name it, we write a reflection about it.
Sometimes I feel like I am reflecting on reflections.
I was probably in an intense pose in my yoga practice when
this subject was brought up. Attempting to jet out of the room and remove
myself from the intense stretch was all I was thinking about. Sweat was
dripping in my eyes and instead of breaking the pose and wiping it away, I
listened to the words, “You cry easily, you laugh easy and that, my friend is
due to your open heart.”
But wait? I only cry easily. Is my heart only open to pain?
I decided to keep a small journal on my phone. I jotted down
times I wanted to cry and times that I was happy, laughing, and things I found
funny.
I cry when things are said that hurt my feelings. I take
failure extremely hard; I judge myself and tend to bring tears to my eyes. I do
tend to cry a lot. Crying was easy to measure.
But I also cry and feel for others and I love that about
myself. I experience empathy and I am grateful that I can feel the pain for
others. I decided that I liked this part of myself.
However, I laugh all of the time. I spend a lot more time
looking at the beauty in others, in nature, in my friends, and in myself. I
love my family and the quirkiness we share. I laugh at myself! I rejoice in the
small. I make time for others and let them bring joy to my life. This part was
harder to measure because I spend more time living in JOY! I love this part of
my heart.
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| Photo by: The Click, Leah Layman |
SO….I cry because I have an open heart. BUT I also laugh because
of that open heart. I love that my heart
is open. Through tears and laughter, this an amazing gift that makes me Becky!
